The Junkyard Planet of Frim
by megadoomingir
Summary: When Tallest Red steals one of Tallest Purple's most prized of teddies, ZiM is sent to Frim, the junkyard planet, to retrieve it. The tacos will fly in the search for Pur's beloved teddy. Monkeys, pigs, mayonnaise, why haven't you clicked this yet?
1. Prank Gone Wrong

Deep red eyes stared deviously at the purple eyed tallest. NOW was the time. A perfect prank. As Purple sighed and flipped a page to his book, Red stood lurking from the shadows behind him, containing his glee and evilness as he slowly hovered past the co-tallest and his comfy chair, courtesy of planet Vort, which not only served as a prison planet, but made the most comfortable couches and couch-chairs the universe had to offer.

Red was easily able to slip into Purple's room, the door wide open and very inviting. The ship creaked a bit as it changed course, causing Red to pause in mid hover before proceeding on. And there he spotted it.

Purple had a favored stuffed toy, a teddy alien. Its one-eyed face was beaming with a huge, sharp-toothed grin on its face. It had fluffy ears, tentacles for arms and feet and its skin was a dull green with a dull yellow tummy.

Purple didn't just favor this particular stuffed animal, he ADORED it. And if anything were to happen to this annoying excuse of a toy, Purple would be devastated. It was perfect! Steal the toy, roll it around in the garbage for a few minutes and put it back. Red wallowed in his evil as he slowly approached Pur's bed, the toy resting delicately at the top with a bunch of pillows.

Red's claw stroked the ears of the teddy, before he snatched it up and tucked it under his arm. Trying to contain the giggling forcing its way to his mouth, the red-eyed tallest rushed to the door and peeked out.

Purple sighed sadly and turned another page of his book. The book he was reading was called 'Head and Shoulders Above Everyone Else' an autobiography by a previous tallest, Miyuki.

" She was a good tallest…" Purple muttered to himself as he finished another page and moved on.

Red rolled his eyes and hovered out of the room ever so quietly, creeping past his co-tallest and making his way to the corner. Purple stretched, raising his arms into the air and Red froze. If Pur caught him now, he wouldn't be able to get away with anything for a while.

But Purple didn't notice him and went back to the part of the book where Miyuki spoke of her first conquered planet. Red almost sighed out of relief but held it in as he made it past the corner and a little ways down the hall.

Then he jumped around in gleeful silence as he held the teddy alien in his claws. Red hugged the teddy victoriously and hovered past confused subjects. Whistling in a happy tune put his subjects at ease, though and they thought nothing else of it.

Red cradled the teddy alien and when he finally reached the nearest trash bin, grabbed the handle and pulled the bin away from the wall it was nestled in.

Good, Red thought evilly, they already through out the old mooshminky.

Indeed, the slop mooshminky churned and gurgled in staleness at the top of the seething garbage. Red looked at the teddy alien and then the garbage, deciding on second thoughts, maybe just hiding somewhere.

Then, a horrible impulse screamed I GOT IT!!! And the teddy was suddenly submerged in old mooshminky, soiled papers and old Vort dogs from only IRK knows when. Red smiled and began to slosh the stuffed animal around in the filth, his claws getting sticky with the disgusting goop.

" M-my tallest?"

Red turned to see a COM-unit holding up a clipboard of papers, " I need you to sign these."

The COM was completely oblivious to what Red was doing. Red unthinkingly let go of the teddy alien and signed the papers. As Red was preoccupied with the signing of many forms, a garbage drone made his rounds to the trash bin. He whistled as he pulled out the baggie and threw it into a larger bin behind him, the teddy crushed and shoved deeper into the baggie.

Replacing the old garbage bag with a new one, the garbage drone shut the bin door and carted away the filth. Red finally finished signing papers and sent the COM-unit away, turning back to his evil master plan. He waved to the COM as he shoved his claw back into the bin. When he realized he wasn't getting anything soft and teddy-like he peered into the bin and saw its vast emptiness.

Red gasped and looked around frantically for the person responsible for the disappearance of the garbage.

But seeing no one, Red dashed down one of the halls, " Hey!! Has anyone seen a garbage drone pass through here?!"

An Irken engineer nodded, " Yeah, he passed through here a couple minutes ago-"

" Where?!" Red asked quickly.

The engineer pointed down the hall and Red hovered faster than he ever had in his entire life. Bumping into other engineers and COMs, Red came to a room where he spotted the garbage drone dumping a bin of garbage into a chute.

Red dove for the bin, " NO!!! Wait!!!"

But then a horrible sucking noise could be heard as the garbage was sucked into the chute and pulled into a cannon.

Red grabbed the garbage drone by the shoulders, " Is there any way to stop the process?!"

The garbage drone thought for a moment, " Well… no."

Red began to sweat as the cannon charged and fired off into space.

The tallest stared at the drone, " Where did it fire that?" he asked rather calmly.

The drone shrugged, " Planet Frim. The junkyard planet."

And with that, the garbage drone left the room to finish more of his rounds. Red slumped to the floor. Purple's beloved teddy alien was on Frim. With eons of old rotting piles of garbage, it would take YEARS to find the teddy. There was only one thing for Red to do.

Red stood up slowly and hovered out of the room, followed by the stares of his subjects. Purple suddenly bumped into him, his eyes in a bit of worry and loss.

" Hey," he said, managing a smile, " um, you haven't seen my teddy around have you?"

That smile on Pur's face made Red feel all the more guilty. That sad little 'please tell me you can help' face.

Red sighed heavily as the hallway cleared of their servants before turning to his co-tallest, " Pur… It's not on the ship…"

Purple's eyes widened with worry, " What?"

Red hung his head, " I took it… and," he looked up.

Purple was already getting tears.

Red turned away, " It's on planet Frim."

Purple's eyes grew to the size of Earth's moon, " WHAT?!"

" Believe me," Red pleaded, " I never meant harm to the ugly little thing."

Purple slumped to the floor, " You lost my teddy…"

Red frowned, " Um… yeah…"

Purple curled up into a ball and teetered back and forth, mumbling about his loss of the beloved teddy.

Red shook his co-tallest, " Pur? Purple?!"

" M-my teddy… Frim?"

Red gave a small smile, " Uh huh, it's there."

Purple glared at him, " And you sent him THERE?!? What kind of friend are YOU?!?!"

Red's eyes reflected guilt as Purple turned away from him, " I… I didn't mean for anything like this to happen… It was supposed to be funny…"

Purple began hovering slowly away, but whispered quietly, " Yeah? Well, nobody's laughing…"

Red slumped his shoulders and as Purple went back to his room, he scoffed, " Ah, he'll be fine!! It was just a stupid teddy alien."


	2. Three Hours Later

Three hours later…

" I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!!!" Red tried screaming over Purple's crying, " I didn't mean for your teddy to go to Frim!!!"

" BUT HE'S THERE!!!" Pur sobbed, " because of YOU!!!"

Purple pulled his head up from the pillow he had buried it in and picked up a lamp that sat on a nightstand next to his bed, chucking it at the door. Red ducked behind the door before it could hit him and heard the crash and clank of shattered glass as it hit and then flew all over the floor.

" Pur…" Red started softly, trying to ease his comrade, " It's just a teddy alien. We can get a NEW one. One that's not as… ugly…"

Purple just glared, " Those little speeches my work on everyone else, but I never happened to LIKE them…"

Purple re-hid his face in the pillow, trying to calm himself. A loud beeping noise came on the intercom, followed by an annoyed, female voice.

" Ummm… tallests Red and Purple? We have, like, a MAJOR situation…"

Red turned towards and intercom box, pressing a small button on it, " What, what's wrong?"

" Well," the voice came again, " ZiM is like, TOTALLY trying to call here. You gotta like, TOTALLY get up here…"

Red sighed and turned to his co-tallest, " We'll be right there," he muttered.

There was a long silence between the two rulers as they hovered to the communications deck. Purple refused to look at Red and Red felt guilty enough as it was. When they entered the com-room, Red took the screen.

ZiM's little face popped up, expecting the warmest of welcome from his leaders, " MY TALLESTS!!!! You look very tall and ruley today!!" he beamed.

Red tried to smile, then sighed, " To tell you the most honest truth right now, ZiM, Purple's in a really… bad mood."

ZiM jumped up towards the screen, " Bad? Of a mood?! What has caused this for my tallest?!?"

Red shook his head, " His favorite teddy alien was sent to planet Frim, the junk-yard planet…"

" I see… and how bad is the situation?" ZiM replied, lacing his claws in a worried manner.

The camera turned towards Purple who was in the corner, mumbling, and since he was too depressed to get up and get himself a razor, was cutting himself with air. More or less just making the motion of 'cutting'.

ZiM 'hmm'ed at this, " Yes… I see!!! This is not very good, my tallest…"

Red sighed again, " Yeah… I know…"

" Master?!" GIR screamed, running into the room and tackling ZiM to the ground, " want BISCUITS?!?!"

" NO!!! Get OFF!!!!!" ZiM shoved the humming SIR unit off and turned back to his leaders when a thought struck him.

" My tallests?" ZiM asked sweetly, " What if I were to retrieve this teddy alien for my tallest Purple?"

Purple stopped mumbling and swiftly clamped himself to the screen, " YOU?! Would go for ME?!?"

ZiM giggled, " Of COURSE, my tallest!! If this teddy alien is holding you back from your duties, then it must be brought back!!" ZiM slammed his fist into an open hand, " And ZiM is happy to do it!!!"

Purple's eyes were wide with happiness, " ZiM, YOU'RE THE GREATEST INVADER TO HAVE EVER LIVED!!!!"

ZiM smiled proudly, " It's nothing my tallest. Besides!! Frim happens to be only a few hours flight from here!! Your teddy alien will be safe!!"

Red smiled as Purple let go of the screen, squealing with happiness like an eight year old, " Here ZiM. This is a live feed we were able to get from Frim's surface…"

A COM unit switched the screen over to a picture of the teddy alien resting amongst a pile of garbage. Nothing was ripped or torn, but it had smudges of goop on it.

Purple's eyes widened and he ran up to the screen, " CAPTAIN SNUGGLES!!!"

Red buried his face in a hand, " Think you can find it?"

ZiM became more serious, " My tallests, rest assured that this Captain… Snuggles will be brought safely back to you. Though I may need to wash him before he re-accompanies you…"

Purple smiled, " That's fine, just get him back, ZiM."

ZiM did a quick salute and cut the transmission, turning to his SIR unit, " Come, GIR!! We go… to FRIM!!!!"

" YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" GIR screamed as he grabbed his master's hand, " We're off to see the WIZARD!!!!"

ZiM sighed, " We're NOT going to see a wizard. We are going… to a JUNKYARD!!!!"

" YAY!!" GIR screamed happily, " JUNK!!!"

ZiM stared at his SIR unit with a confused look, " With any luck, maybe I'll find some working spare parts for you…"

GIR looked at his master, filled with 'aw', " Ooooooooooo…"

ZiM opened the ship hanger door and a light shone on his precious Voot. The purple engines on the side were ZiM's favorite, since he had repaired them to one hundred and thirty five percent working capacity.

ZiM smiled as the voot's clear window opened and he jumped in, his little robot hopped onto his lap and pressed a button, " What do this dooooooooo?"

The voot's clear window shut quickly and GIR clapped happily, " YAY!!! It didn't blow up!!!"

ZiM gave a laugh, " Hey, that was pretty good, GIR. Do that again, and I'll give you a cookie."

GIR's eyes widened, " Cookie?" he hugged ZiM, " I love you, master."

ZiM gave a pat on the robot's head, " Yes, yes, O.K., good…" ZiM looked at the control panel and smiled at GIR, " GIR? Press this button."

GIR pressed the button, and the engines started up. The robot clapped happily and pressed another random button, sending the voot slamming into the wall across from them.

ZiM crashed painfully into the window shield and GIR fell safely off under the voot chair.

The little Irken pulled himself off the window and set his eye back into his head, " GIR? Maybe I should drive…"

GIR popped out from under the chair and nodded happily. ZiM sat in the chair, GIR sitting on his head, straightened the ship out and opened the top of the house, the voot quickly speeding out the top and headed into space.


	3. The Unseen Mixup

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAAAA!!"

ZiM covered his antennae as his SIR unit continued to scream because of an unknown reason. The Irken's bright crimson eyes quivered in anger as he finally grabbed GIR's shoulder sockets and held him up for inspection.

GIR sniffed once then squealed happily, " THERE YOU ARE, MASTER!!! I THOUGHT I LOST CH'YOU!!!"

The little robot hugged his master tenderly, rubbing his head gently on ZiM's chest. The Irken's left eye twitched as silence finally filled the ship, an uneasy ringing vibrating in his antennae.

With as much dignity as ZiM could muster, he sighed and looked down at his SIR, " GIR? I want you… to sing…"

The ringing in ZiM's antennae progressively worsened as the silence continued, but a loud gasp interrupted it, " REEEEEEEEALLY, MASTER?!?! YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!" GIR threw his arms up in the air and jumped off his master's lap, singing as loud as he could. This was the song he sang, slowed down as humanly possible so the viewers may see it:

" I went to the pet store and saw a purple hermit crab and so I gonna buy it so I come back the next day and the purple hermit crab was gone so I ask a horse 'did you eat my purple hermit crab?' and he said 'no.' then he burped up a dog and I asked the dog 'did you eat my purple hermit crab?' and he said 'no.' and he burped up a cat and I asked the cat 'did you eat my purple hermit crab?' and he said 'no.' and burped up a bird and I asked 'did you eat my purple hermit crab?' and he said 'no.' and burped up a worm and I asked 'did you eat my purple hermit crab?' and he said 'no.' and burped up an ant and I asked 'did you eat my purple hermit crab?' and he said 'YES!!!'"

GIR then sat back comfortably in ZiM's lap, nuzzling himself closer to the warm little Irken. ZiM's antennae no longer felt the ring of silence but now held an unpleasant ringing of not being able to hear at all. He gave his head a bit of a pat and waited for his hearing to readjust when he saw a large disgustingly brown planet, lightly lit by searchlights.

ZiM poked GIR in the side, " GIR!!! We have made it… to FRIM!!!" His arms were raised in triumph as the Voot quickly began its descent into Frim's atmosphere.

GIR gasped happily as he stared out the window of the Voot, " Ooooooooooo… IT'S DIRTY, MASTER!! IT NEEDS A BATH, JUST LIKE YOU HAVE EVERY SUNDA-"

ZiM clamped a hand over GIR's mouth, " HUSH, GIR!!!"

His robot stared back blankly as ZiM removed his hand and carefully maneuvered past large mounds of garbage and largely built searchlights. Why the searchlights were there, ZiM was uncertain, but they helped for him to see where he was going. Not that they SHOULD have been there, since no one ever visited the planet anyhow.

GIR watched intently as the Voot lowered to the ground and landed in a clear area that hadn't been dumped on quite yet. The little robot hardly waited for the Voot's front window to open before shooting out of the cockpit and into a smaller pile of garbage, digging furiously as if swimming through the litter.

ZiM covered his nose area as soon as the window opened, a powerful smell wafting into his ship and clouding his senses. The little Irken tripped getting out of his ship, but quickly stood up as not to seem weak.

Brushing off his invader uniform, ZiM stood up tall, er… short, " GIR, we have a mission. A mission to bring back the teddy alien!!"

GIR poked his head out from the pile of litter and gave a big nod, " Can I play with the tall guy's dolly?"

ZiM's eye twitched, " No, GIR. No Captain Snuggles for you."

GIR's eyes watered and his antenna slumped, but he understood why his master was telling him no.

The little Irken stuck a nonexistent nose in the air and pointed to a small pathway " Now, GIR. ONWARDS!!!!"

GIR suddenly brightened, " YAAAAAY!!! ON WITH OUR WORDS!!!"

ZiM sighed and turned to say something to his SIR unit when one of the giant searchlights turned to him, its light shining directly into ZiM's sensitive Irken eyes. ZiM screamed and ducked, rubbing his eyes viciously to help the pain in his eyes dissipate. GIR stared worriedly at his master, whimpering as the Irken's eyes began leaking.

ZiM finally stood, his vision blurred, " GIR, I am fine. I can see juuuust fine…"

ZiM couldn't see very well at all, the best he could see was a discolored blur that was his SIR unit, " Yes, juuuust fine."

GIR stared curiously at ZiM, then squealed happily, " OKIE DOKIE!!"

ZiM nodded at his blurred SIR and turned back to the pathway, stumbling along the path, GIR hopping closely next to his master happily. As the two continued along the path, a soft looking, yet dirty Captain Snuggles caught the little SIR unit's eye. GIR gasped and snatched up the toy, snuggling it as ZiM took a seat on a large broken box.

" This is pointless, GIR," the Irken held his head in a hand and watched the blurred GIR hugging something, the drop it.

ZiM kept his eyes on the thing GIR dropped as GIR spoke, " But master!! We only been lookin' for a few minutes!!!"

ZiM sighed and didn't notice as his SIR wandered off, " Yes, you're right. We'll check around here for a bit then move on to another area using a scanner."

ZiM got up and took the arm of Captain Snuggles while GIR wandered away, not hearing his master's command.


End file.
